One of the Companions said: “O Messenger of Allah, a disbeliever cut off my hand and then took refuge behind a tree and said “la ilaha ill’Allah”. Should I do what he did to me?”
“Do not … for if you do so you will be in the same state he”.
The above Hadith – like so many others – points to the centrality of healing and forgiveness.
Allah mentions “…and rectify between mankind for indeed Allah is the hearing and knowing” (al-Baqarah:224) and “rectify between them for rectification is the best” (al-Nisa: 129). The steps to forgiveness and then reconciliation are not always easy steps and need to be systematic and measured.
But part of the road to healing are these steps and as the Prophet warned: appropriating the act of the oppressor transforms us to similar to the oppressor.
The road to healing requires a mind set change, emotional change and muraqabah (contemplation). This needs to occur through Dhikr and contemplation. When we connect ourselves to a group that is travelling to Allah and trying to divest themselves of negative traits it becomes that much easier. Without forgiveness we keep repeating the pain and this can be a hindrance to our spiritual development and progress.